You’re Innocent When You Dream-Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole’s How To Steal A Million

 

 

DVD Review

From The Pen Of Frank Jackman

How To Steal A Million, starring Audrey Hepburn, Peter O’Toole, Eli Wallach, 1966

I have often commented on the fact that no question the late 1930s, early 1940s were the golden age of screwball romantic comedies with such treats as It Happened One Night and Sullivan’s Travels just to name a couple. And I stand by that proposition as I review another screwball romantic comedy from the 1960s, How To Steal A Million. Maybe during the 1930s it was because movie audiences desperately needed a few hours off from the class struggle or just the struggle to get by day to day but this fatted calf 1960s effort lacks that pulling power despite the fine cast.

Here’s the story line and maybe you can figure out why the thing fell a little flat. Bonnet, a high end French art forger (although art forgers are not always French), is a little bored with ripping off the culturati with his fake paintings and decides to show the world a sculpture, a fake by his father of Cellini’s Venus in public in a well-known Paris museum. Daughter Nicole (played by fetching there is no other word for her, Audrey Hepburn) flips out at the idea since this stunt will get his a long stretch in the infamous French prisons, maybe Devil’s Island if that was the throw of the dice, but someplace harsh. The good Bonnet proceeds anyway despite Nicole’s trepidations. As it turned out various law enforcement officials and reputable art dealers are on his trail, especially one Simon Dermott (played by he of the Lawrence of Arabia blue eyes, Peter O’Toole). He is out to stop Bonnet in his tracks, and clean up the art world a little. And that was an admirable ambition until he saw the fetching Nicole and was, well, smitten right off (and nobody on this good green earth could blame him taking the fall).                    

Here’s the tricky part though, an American art collector Davis Leland (played by versatile actor Eli Wallach) is crazy to have that Cellini for his vaults and is bound and determined to get the object by fair means or foul. Along the way Leland plays with Nicole to use her to get what he wants. Nicole though is worried, worried to perdition, that dear old Dad is a goner so she tries, tries not very hard as the case turned out to have the dashing blue-eyed Simon cook up a plot to steal the statute from the museum and keep Dad out of the Bastille. And, well, smitten Simon takes the leap, falls for those brown moon-glow eyes.

The rest of film is filled with little off-hand capers (and kisses) as Simon goes low tech, very low tech by today’s security standards in order to steal the thing. And as such things go, cinematically anyway, Simon pulls the caper off. And guess who gets the fake Cellini. And guess who gets Nicole. And guess who is not going to be having a diet of bread and water. Sure there were some madcap moments but the tension that held the 1930s romantic comedies audience in thrall even though they too knew the boy was going to get the girl or vice-versa is lacking here. Still I wouldn’t mind having been in Simon’s shoes, wouldn’t have minded at all.