***Out In The Be-Bop Be-Bop 1960s Night- When Gary Ladd Danced The North Adamsville High School Dance Night Away- Not

 

A YouTube film clip of The Shirelles performing their 1960s teen angst classic Mama Said

I seemingly have endlessly worked unto death the theme of the last dance, the last teenage school last dance and its particular place in determining the social pecking order of any high school good night. That endlessly worked aspect is a result of reviewing about twelve billion classic rock and roll greatest hits compilations brought out by various commercial enterprises to cling to the nostalgically-inclined AARP-worthies who are the natural demographic for such items. Any way you dress it up that school dance, and its last dance, whether carefully crafted by some committee, something like a senior dance committee, or just hit or miss as some off-hand church function to keep the young off the streets and out of the damn midnight automobiles is worthy of some attention if only as a sub-cultural phenomenon. Take any two-left feet guy, a guy like the guy Gary Ladd who will be placed under the microscope here, add some music, turn down the lights, sniff that ubiquitous smell of fresh bath soap or subtle virginal perfume in the air coming for over in she wall and weep a tear for your lost youth. It is okay.           

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Saturday night, any third Saturday of the month from September to May, when every red-blooded teen boy and girl in the 1961 North Adamsville High School be-bop, be-bop night could only be in one locale, or want to be. That was the night of the monthly seasonally-themed high school hop where anyone, even lowly no name, no account freshmen and no account sophomores, could ante up the dollar admission and dance the night away. Well, almost dance the night away. And that was the dilemma confronting one freshman, Gary Ladd (on the night in question, the night of the Springfest Dance, he is the “wallflower” way off to the side of the gym almost into the wall if you didn’t think you saw him on one of the only nights in question).

Gary, well, we might as well have our moment of truth right up front, can’t dance. Can’t dance a damn, to hell, heaven or any place in between. Two- left feet. Two left-feet despite the best efforts of one Agnes Ladd, North Adamsville Class of 1961 Vice President, whose own feet have taken a terrible beating trying to teach little brother Gary the elements of the waltz, the fox trot, and hell, even the twist to no avail. But Gary, no twerp under his two left-footed exterior, has always, as he put it, exercised his democratic right to be at these universal dances, come hell or high water.

But this night, this warm April Springfest Dance night, things might just be a little different as Gary takes his place against the far wall (the wall farthest away from the girl “wallflowers” just in case you wanted an exact location. Mostly wallflowers, boy or girl, are keeping their respective distances as well as mainly keeping their backs to the dance floor on the odd forlorn chance that someone may actually come up and ask them to dance).

First off that month the local craze rock band sensations, The Rockin’ Ramrods, are were there live on the makeshift bandstand. And as we hone in on that action as the lights dim signifying the night is really under way just that minute they were furiously tuning up with the appropriately named Please Stay by the Drifters. Secondly, a new girl in town, Elsie Mae Horton, was there. Naturally the mere fact that she was here is added reason why Gary was here (and why he tortured his sister Agnes to try, try in vain, to teach him some dance steps). See Gary had the “bug” for Elsie Mae, yah, he was smitten.

Now this Elsie Mae was maybe, on a scale of one to ten, about a six so it was not looks that had Gary (and about six other guys, a mix of dancers and two left-feeters), well, smitten. But what Elsie Mae had was nothing but smarts, book smarts, idea smarts, talk smarts you name it smarts and one of the sweetest smiles this side of heaven. And, as Gary found out early on in one of their shared classes, very easy to talk to about anything. Yes, he was smitten; the only unknown was whether she could dance well enough to stay out of his way. That is if he got up the nerve to ask her. And as the Ramrods started their first set with Gary Bonds’ School Is Out (praise be) he noticed her coming in the door. Heart pounding he started sinking into the wall again, deep into the brick. As they finished with Brother Bonds the Ramrods started in on The Impressions’ Gypsy Woman before Gary realizes that Elsie Mae had drawn a bee-line straight for him and was standing right in front of him, turning a little red. “Oh, my God,” Gary whispered under his breathe, “she is going to ask me to dance. No way.” The usually easy to talk to Elsie Mae though said nothing, nothing but turned a little redder as the Ramrods covered the Pips Every Beat Of My Heart (nicely done too). She was patiently waiting with her sweetest smile for Gary to ask her, if you can believe that. Well, two-left feet or not, he did ask her. Or sort of, kind of, shuffled her onto the dance floor. And she smiled a little smile that would brighten up the darkest night as she “accepts.” Relief.

Needless to say when they did their dance, The Edsels’ Rama Lama Ding Dong, it was nothing but a disaster. A Gary disaster? Yes. But here is the funny part. Elsie Mae Horton, formerly of Gloversville and new to North Adamsville so of unknown dance quality, had two-left feet too. Get this though. When the dance was mercifully finished, and the two had actually survived, Elsie Mae thanked Gary and told him that he was a wonderful dancer and she wished that she could dance like him. Jesus!

Here is the real kicker though, the stuff that she told Gary later under different circumstances. Elsie Mae had also been taking dancing lessons, unsuccessfully. Dancing lessons so that two-left feet Elsie Mae Horton could dance with Gary Ladd. See, she was “smitten” too. And so if you did not see Gary or Elsie Mae at the Mayfair Dance you have now solved that mystery. They were sitting, sitting very close to each other, on the seawall down at Adamsville Beach laughing about starting a “Two-Left Feet” Club. With just two members.